STOP TALKING ABOUT THE TWILIGHT MOVIES. YOU’RE A GROWN WOMAN. IF A MAN MADE HALF AS MANY REFERENCES TO BANGING A BARELY LEGAL GIRL AS YOU DO ABOUT TAYLOR LAUTNER CHRIS HANSEN WOULD BE HIDING AROUND THE CORNER FROM HIS HOUSE IN A STAKEOUT VAN.
YOU WANT TO WATCH GLEE EVERY WEEK? FINE. WE’LL WATCH GLEE. SADLY, THAT SHOW CONTAINS BETTER ACTING THAN THOSE GODDAMNED SPARKLY VAMPIRE MOVIES. BUT THIS IS THE LAST DISCUSSION WE WILL EVER HAVE ABOUT ‘TEAM JACOB’ IN THIS HOUSE. HOW ABOUT YOU JOIN ‘TEAM WORRYING ABOUT YOUR MORTGAGE’ OR ‘TEAM HOW ARE MY KIDS GOING TO GO TO COLLEGE’? I WANT AN EDUCATION SO I CAN HAVE BETTER TASTE THAN YOU, MOM.
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That is literally the children of today. It has to be. Because seriously…
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Oh…mah…gawd. This is so much win.
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